Wedding Planning – The difficult questions
How are we all doing? Sanity and humour still firmly intact? I do hope so! The sun is shining and LocationLocationLocation is on in the background allowing me to live vicariously as if I too am visiting different peoples houses! Yes, it has come to that!
Today I wanted to address some of the more difficult questions newly engaged couples may have to ask themselves when they start to plan their wedding. Some subjects can be a bit daunting to tackle, whether because of family members or you just don’t know you should be talking about them. Never fear! That’s what we’re here for, to get you asking those difficult questions and guide you early on to stop any stressful situations or regrets cropping up later! Let’s crack on!
Budget contribution from family – are there strings attached? Money is never fun to talk about, especially in English culture, but for a lot of you planning your wedding, you will be fortunate to be receiving a kind donation from family towards the wedding budget. This in itself is wonderful and it is so lovely to have people that want to help you have your dream wedding, but please do have the conversation on if there are any conditions to that money. Are they buying conditions or an opinion on your wedding, whether it be guests they want you to invite, traditions they want you to keep or any number of things you aren’t keen on but feel obliged to do because they are paying for a portion of YOUR DAY. Have a very honest conversation and if there are conditions, think hard on if you are willing to meet those conditions, if not I would strongly advise turning it down as otherwise it will cause stress and arguments down the line, which no one wants! It’s tough but I promise it will be worth it 🙂
Photography by Bubblerock
Are you following traditions because you want to or feel obliged? This continues on from the first point, but less centred around money, each culture has its own traditions and most couples want to incorporate these traditions into their day, but they aren’t for everyone! If you decide against certain traditions that is absolutely fine, there is no strict rule book on what you can and can’t do, if don’t want to get married in a church, that’s fine(!), you don’t want a first dance or cake, no problem! You can do whatever you like! However, do be prepared for push back from certain people who will be surprised and will try and talk you into them, but if these traditions are not for you, stick to your guns and ignore the peer pressure, do what you both want, after all, it is your special day.
Invite who you want! Says it all really, only invite the people you want to see on your wedding day or wedding weekend. The time goes soo quickly, especially the wedding day itself and you want to make the most of that time by celebrating with the people you love, not your second cousin Carol who you felt obliged to have there, No! Don’t do it! If you don’t see them in your everyday life, don’t spend a fortune to have them at your wedding! Get rid of that guilt and look forward to partying with your besties!
Photography by Bubblerock
Do you need to compromise on something? For most, planning a wedding is a completely new experience, with many not knowing what goes into the planning or how much things cost, especially if you are considering a destination wedding. When we speak to couples we often see a dissonance between what they tell us they are after, their budget and their Pinterest board. It is then our job to walk through the process of aligning these elements into a clear vision for the wedding, which is budget-friendly. If you don’t have a planner, you will soon figure this out once the quotes start coming back, it is then a case of sitting down and figuring out what is most important to you, do you need that 5-course meal? Or free-flowing Bollinger? Is that merry-go-round an essential part of your day? It’s certainly not a fun task, but the sooner you align what you want with your budget the happier you will both be! 🙂
Can you let go and trust a planner? This is a super important discussion to have before looking into a planner to plan your day. As planners, we are experts in what we do and know the best way to go about planning your special day and couples need to trust in that and let go of the reigns and take the cues from the planner, otherwise, the whole process will become disjointed and stressful, which is the last thing we want! Now, this doesn’t mean you won’t be involved, on the contrary you will be very much involved at every stage, though it is best to let your planner set the timeline, so try not to keep jumping ahead to the next bit. The other main bit is reaching out to suppliers directly, if your planner speaks with the supplier they have the best chance at getting the best deal. If you and your planner are both speaking to prospective suppliers simultaneously, it can all get a bit confusing! So I guess the point of this one is if you can go with above and trust in your planner, then get one! It will save a lot of stress and you will love the whole process! If you’re not sure you can let go, then a planner is not for you, take on the challenge and you’ll likely love it, I do! 😀
Photography by Rebecca Yale
Quite a lot of honesty in today’s blog, on topics that are seldom raised but are soo important to ensure a smooth planning process! But since everyone has a little more time than usual, I thought you could handle the heavier topic with a glass of wine! So on that note, I will let you get back to your day, in all its isolated gloriousness and say farewell for now! Let me know if you have any questions on the points above, I’m sure I can spare some time…